It's a very confusing time to be an American. The Government claims to be shutting down, but they still want us to pay taxes so they can continue collecting paychecks even after laying themselves off. Then, on the other side of town, you have Obama foaming at the mouth, just waiting for the government to turn itself on again so that he can force your doctor to give you a surgery that makes you gay (so that while you're in recovery from said surgery his secret Chinese police can take your guns away.)
All joking aside (and that was a joke, by the way... in reality, Obama's secret police are managed by Mexican drug cartels) the events leading up to the government shutdown are as confusing as they are unsettling. Perhaps the only thing more unclear is what Obamacare actually is.
So basically I'm going to explain it now as a favor to my fellow countrymen... feel free to get friends together and stage a dramatic reading.
REPUBLICAN: We need to end entitlement programs! We've become a nation of freeloading welfare queens. We must find ways to stop people from abusing the system!!!
BREAKING NEWS: The Affordable Care Act has been signed into law and will take effect in 2014! This law requires ALL AMERICANS to purchase their own health care. This will STOP FREELOADERS FROM ABUSING THE SYSTEM. No longer will scumbags be able to simply walk into emergency rooms for medical care and never pay, leaving the rest of us hardworking Americans to foot the bill. Now EVERYONE will be responsible for THEIR OWN HEALTH CARE COSTS, and only those who legitimately qualify for government-subsidized health care programs will receive any sort of free or discounted medical services.
REPUBLICAN: Hooray! No more dirtbags scamming free health care on the taxpayer dime! Also, all of my rich insurance executive friends will make even more profits! The Affordable Care Act sounds great!
BREAKING NEWS: The Affordable Care Act was a black guy's idea.
REPUBLICAN: OH MY GOD, NO!!! WE NEED TO IMMEDIATELY START TELLING LIES ABOUT THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT!!! EVERYBODY, START TELLING THE WORST AND GREATEST LIES YOU CAN INVENT!!! ALSO, STOP CALLING THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT... IT IS HENCEFORTH TO BE KNOWN AS OBAMACARE!!!
DISNEY-VILLIAN-LOOKING LADY RIDING A MOOSE: Obama is going to have a jury of Iranians pre-determine a death date for every American!!!
REPUBLICAN: I know it makes absolutely no sense to refer to a program that compels people to buy a service from a for-profit insurance company "socialist" BUT... do you think anybody will notice if we start calling Obamacare "socialist medicine" as another scare tactic?
REPUBLICAN 2: I don't know... I mean, it's actually like the COMPLETE FUCKING OPPOSITE OF SOCIALISM... buuuuut... yes, let's do that!
DISNEY-VILLIAN-LOOKING LADY RIDING A MOOSE: OBAMACARE = SOCIALIST EPIC FAIL #OBUMMER
BREAKING NEWS: ... something, something, Miley Cyrus...
[whispers in background: hey, should we tell the American people that these Obamacare claims from the right wing are all crazy lies?
no, this shit is WAY better for the ratings of our "news" programs than the truth would be.
Oh, okay. I will do another piece on Miley Cyrus instead maybe.
That sounds like a really good idea. I love being inside the TV.]
REPUBLICAN: Now that we've created many good and insane lies, we will be able to repeal Obamacare!
BREAKING NEWS: Everyone hates you and you still do not control the White House or the Senate soooooo I guess you will be NOT repealing Obamacare. Super sorry lolz.
REPUBLICAN: You asked for it!!! If I don't get my way, I'm going to quit playing!!! THEN NOBODY WILL HAVE A GOVERNMENT, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!
SANE AMERICAN CITIZEN: Wait, you're CRIPPLING the GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA just because you're a sore loser? You would rather INTENTIONALLY DESTROY OUR NATION than let the President implement a piece of legislation that was legally created under the rules of our constitution?! Isn't that basically terrorism?!
REPUBLICAN: NO, YOU'RE TERRORISM!!! AND MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD!!!
END SCENE.
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Monday, September 30, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
MSM Fails to Report Effects of Fukushima Nuclear Disaster in United States
Two years after the fact, the full effects of the Fukushima meltdown are still being realized, not only in Japan, but on the west coast of the United States. And the mainstream media has been oddly silent about it.
According to recently released studies, children born in affected U.S. States (Alaska, California, Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii) in the four months after the March 2011 nuclear disaster were more than 25 percent more likely to be afflicted with a type of thyroid disease that can lead to permanent physical and mental problems.
The specific condition being seen in elevated rates in these states is called congenital hypothyroidism. "Congenital" refers to a condition that is evident from birth; hypothyroidism refers to a missing, underdeveloped, or low-functioning thyroid gland. The thyroid is an important, mufti-functional gland implicated in everything from regulating physical growth and hormones to proper brain development. The typical rate of congenital hypothyroidism worldwide is about 1 in every 3,500 children. The increased rate in west-coast America after the Fukushima disaster would have been around 1 in 2,800.
The heightened risk in Alaska, California, Oregon, Washington and Hawaii-born children in spring 2011 was evident when comparing congenital hypothyroidism numbers from the same period of time in 2010, and also when compared to the rates of congenital hypothyroidism in the rest of the United States.
The believed cause of all this is the radioactive isotope iodine-131. Significant amounts of this isotope were created during the Fukushima meltdown; they gathered in the air and fell across Pacific nations and the west coast of the United States during regular rain and snowfall after the nuclear event in Japan. The existence of iodine-131 was first discovered in the 1930s, by researchers in the United States. Iodine-131 has a half-life of only eight days (compared to iodine-129, which has a half-life of over 15 million years, for example) so the west coast should not see any continued effects.
Ironically, iodine-131 has many useful medical applications--particularly in diagnosing thyroid conditions, and also in radiation therapy.
The sub-story here is the lack of media coverage regarding these findings. To be fair, the health of our children could have easily been buried on the back page. After all, with Justin Bieber fighting paparazzos, President Obama calling an attractive woman attractive, and Amanda Bynes still being awesome as fuck, we just haven't had time to cover the small stuff.
According to recently released studies, children born in affected U.S. States (Alaska, California, Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii) in the four months after the March 2011 nuclear disaster were more than 25 percent more likely to be afflicted with a type of thyroid disease that can lead to permanent physical and mental problems.
The specific condition being seen in elevated rates in these states is called congenital hypothyroidism. "Congenital" refers to a condition that is evident from birth; hypothyroidism refers to a missing, underdeveloped, or low-functioning thyroid gland. The thyroid is an important, mufti-functional gland implicated in everything from regulating physical growth and hormones to proper brain development. The typical rate of congenital hypothyroidism worldwide is about 1 in every 3,500 children. The increased rate in west-coast America after the Fukushima disaster would have been around 1 in 2,800.
The heightened risk in Alaska, California, Oregon, Washington and Hawaii-born children in spring 2011 was evident when comparing congenital hypothyroidism numbers from the same period of time in 2010, and also when compared to the rates of congenital hypothyroidism in the rest of the United States.
The believed cause of all this is the radioactive isotope iodine-131. Significant amounts of this isotope were created during the Fukushima meltdown; they gathered in the air and fell across Pacific nations and the west coast of the United States during regular rain and snowfall after the nuclear event in Japan. The existence of iodine-131 was first discovered in the 1930s, by researchers in the United States. Iodine-131 has a half-life of only eight days (compared to iodine-129, which has a half-life of over 15 million years, for example) so the west coast should not see any continued effects.
Ironically, iodine-131 has many useful medical applications--particularly in diagnosing thyroid conditions, and also in radiation therapy.
The sub-story here is the lack of media coverage regarding these findings. To be fair, the health of our children could have easily been buried on the back page. After all, with Justin Bieber fighting paparazzos, President Obama calling an attractive woman attractive, and Amanda Bynes still being awesome as fuck, we just haven't had time to cover the small stuff.
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